you are worthy of the time you need for your art

Last year a woman wrote to a mailing list I ran about the death of her mother. She wrote that her mother was an incredible craftswoman but when she died she left a clean house and very little of her work for her children. That comment has stayed with me.

Although no one would accuse me of being a neatnik, I must admit that I feel a certain guilt when the floors aren't clean, the trash needs to be emptied, or the dishes sit waiting to be washed. My husband could care less about such things and would far rather that I be doing my art than worrying about the house, so the guilt is purely internal.

Dust is a constant. Living in an old house it appears again before I finish working on the room. However part of my self-image seems to be wrapped up in how my house looks. Why?

For people with children it can be even more difficult. Their simple demands can take up much of your time until you feel you have nothing left when you do have a minute to yourself. There has to be something that we can do to balance this situation!

I think the first step is to recognize that you are worthy of the time you need for your art - and your art is worthy of the time you give it. You have to own that and make sure others know it as well. If you are married or have a significant other, they need to know that you need time for your art. We need to balance what we give to others with what we give to ourselves.

If you have children, what is the message you send them if you don't give time to your art? That you aren't worth it? That your work is not as important as something else? It is my opinion that is not healthy. A thriving family is one that supports the needs of every member. Not every day is everyone going to get everything they need - but if one person never gets what they need then the unit will eventually fold.

I was blessed with a mother who worked. Although she does not give herself credit, her competence sent me a firm message about what I could do as a woman. My father never really gave my mom the respect that she was due for what she did for him. He doesn't to this day. However, I always felt that she knew, and in the end it is she that holds the most admiration and affection in our family, not my father with his degrees and title.

It is time for you to determine what you need for your art. Maybe a half hour at night before you go to bed is what you need. That is great! For others, it may be a goal of full time artistry. Whatever it is, acknowledge it as what you need.

On that subject I would like to detour for a second. In college I studied theatre for a while. When I realized that I was not really meant to go in that direction people told me how sorry they were that I was leaving the program. I realized that not everyone is meant to be the one up on stage. I am happy to be the person in the audience applauding loudly because I understand just how much work it took to get there.

If you don't aspire to being a full time artist, that does not make your work less important. Your creativity is an important part of you. Take what you need for yourself and live your life in the way that makes you happy. We need people on the stage, in the orchestra, and in the seats out in the theatre. Every position is equally important.

If you want to be a full-time artist, determine what it will take to make that happen. If you don't know how to do something or what it takes, ask. If you don't know now and the person you ask won't tell you, you aren't any worse off than you are right now. If they do tell you, you will be leaps and bounds ahead. It is a no risk situation. I have found that the most successful people are the ones most willing to share because they know that success is available for everyone.