taking time for you

I wonder why it is that we are so good at getting through our lists, doing things for our families and work, and yet we feel guilty if we take time for ourselves?

The funny thing is that we have no problem encouraging others to take time for themselves. We are usually glad to hear that a friend has gone for a massage, or went to a spa, or just got away for the weekend with their spouse. We admire a friends newly painted toenails and think "I've really got to book a pedicure for myself", and yet we don't get around to doing it.

There are probably many reasons that we don't take time for ourselves more. Some of us may not feel like we deserve it. I know that I tend to procrastinate about taking time for myself. It has become a joke in our house about how I always say "After . . . ." only after that there always seems to be something else that needs to be done. Others may feel that there just isn't time or money.

I am sitting in my living room writing this because California is having a heat wave and we don't have air conditioning. The living room is the only room that I can throw open the door (it has a screen) and put the fan on and get some relief from the unrelenting heat. I love this room even though it still has a corner full of boxes and furniture that is waiting to be painted. It is light and warm and comfortable. Searching through the boxes I found my Gypsy Kings CD and am listening to "Un Amor", my favorite song by the band.

Such simple things remind me just how easy it is to do something for yourself. I was sitting here wondering why I don't bring my computer out here to work more often. The cats are delighted by my change of habit and are artfully piled on chairs, the comforter lying across the back of the couch, and in front of the door enjoying the view.

My friend Margie recently went away for the night to join her husband at a business seminar. While he was in classes, she spent the day walking along the beach talking to the seals. She came back recharged and buoyant. She told me that she had forgotten how much nature revitalized and energized her spirit.

I think that when we think about taking time for ourselves it is almost overwhelming. TAKING TIME becomes yet another thing we need to schedule, arrange, and take care of. Instead of looking forward to that down time, we instead dread having to arrange it.

I have come to believe that "time for ourselves" should instead come in small packages daily. That is not to say that getting away for a week, going to a retreat, or some other major event is not a great thing if you can do it. Instead I think we should take time to appreciate the moments in our lives and slow down to really appreciate them. In "Haunted Cottage" (the name we lovingly give our house), I find myself appreciating the way the light filters in through the windows in the afternoon. The mornings here are blue and cool, and the afternoons golden and hot. Huge butterflies wind their way around shrubbery and onto our patio.

One of our cats has discovered the lawn for the first time in her life. At age 14 she jumps, skitters, and pounces on bugs, real and imaginary, like she is re-experiencing her kittenhood. As she chases her tail in the sun she brings me to a halt and makes me laugh at her, and at myself. Maybe it is time for both of us to go back to being a kitten; to wonder at the bugs, and the beauty of candlelight, and to laugh at ourselves.

I wonder how many times in our lives we have to rediscover some lessons. Taking down time, stopping to smell the proverbial roses, and enjoying the beauty of life is not exactly a groundbreaking idea. It is unfortunately easy to get caught up in the work of life and forget the play. In the end, the best lives are the most balanced lives. Like a plant that withers without sufficient light and water, our lives suffer unless we have time to breathe and reflect. That is what nourishes us and keeps us strong.

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