Tera's wish
taking responsibility

You control your own happiness. What you do in life, for yourself and for others, is everything. The only way to achieve ultimate success and happiness is responsibility for your life and actions.

Yes, bad stuff sometimes happens. Yes, there will always be situations in which others are to blame for what happens. The trend in the modern world certainly seems to blame others (your mother, your father, your teacher) for failure to succeed or achieve happiness. You cannot control everything -- the good news is that you don't need to.

Do it anyway

Taking responsibility means taking stock of what is working and moving on. Things don't go the way you planned? Move on. People criticize you, get angry with you, don't do what you ask or expect? Move on. Take responsibility for your own happiness by constantly reassessing the situation and coming up with a new plan. They closed the main road? Where are the side streets?

The good news is that if you take responsibility for your life, regardless of how awry things go, you are in control. Complaining may feel like "doing", but it is really a procrastination technique for beginners. It is also cowardly and immature. Children whine when they can't get their way. Evolved adults realize that there are some things they cannot change, and some things that they can change with positive action. Standing around whining accomplishes nothing other than to distract the people who could get something done. Everyone complains from time to time, it is a way to let off stress, if nothing else. If you find yourself complaining about the same thing for several days (or weeks) ask yourself why?

The consequences of our own actions

Every action produces a reaction. If you are unhappy, what are you doing? How are you treating others? Being cruel or unkind to others takes for granted that we are disconnection to the results of our actions. The word "revenge" should not even be in your vocabulary. The truth is that we are all connected and if wish or act to create grief or pain for someone else, that action will ultimately manifest itself in your own life. You may try to hide from this, lying to postpone the inevitable, but these actions will catch up with you. It is an old adage that you should treat others as you wish to be treated. Someone do something to hurt you? Believe me, it will catch up with them, just as it will you if you try to retaliate. How could planning to harm someone else ever bring happiness?

Everyone knows someone, or knows of someone, that seems to have everything but remains unhappy. Success, money, friends, fame. None of these things bring happiness if the person doesn't take responsibility for their own life.

You must live *your* life. Concentrate on what you are doing. Yes, people will do things that anger or upset you. Are you going to stop the ride and get off? Eleanor Roosevelt said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -- I'd take that a step further, no one can make you feel ANYTHING -- anger, passion, love, hate, happiness, anything -- without your consent.

Think successful people are just lucky? Didn't have the obstacles you face? You are wrong! Successful people are simply those that refused to give up, and found a way around, or over, their problems. They didn't get caught up in revenge or anger with others (even when justified) because they were too busy concentrating on their own goal and passion.

The knight of shining armor lies within each of us. We must, ultimately, save ourselves.


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