goal fears

Recently I began a diet. This is a diet I REALLY need to be on as I had gotten into a lot of bad habits with my health. Once I was on it, I started to think through why I hadn't started before. I realized that it wasn't the food, or the restrictions, or any of that that kept me from starting. It was fear of letting myself down.

I wish I could tell you that every diet I have ever been on has been a complete success. Somehow dieting, exercise; these things are very personal. When we "fall off the wagon" we feel a host of emotions: shame, embarrassment, frustration. There are a lot of reasons for this - because what we look like is so important in our Society.

However, as I thought about this, I realized that it was not just true of the very personal goals like dieting; it is also true of general goals. Fear of failure is a difficult thing, but the fear that we will set ourselves up with big dreams and then let OURSELVES down by not reaching those goals can be paralyzing.

Goals are a strange thing. Many people will tell you to share your goals publicly so that you put yourself under pressure (not to feel stupid in front of your friends, I guess) that way. I never have felt the need to do this because not achieving what I have so vividly imagined is generally enough of a spur to keep me going. Plus, I tend to change my mind a lot in terms of what I want to do, so it is less confusing to keep my mouth shut until I have a major commitment that I have to follow through on!

If you are having problems setting goals, you might think about this. What drives you to complete your goals? What fears may keep you from getting started? Are you afraid of looking silly in front of your friends if you do not succeed? Are you afraid of looking silly in front of others because you are willing to take a risk and start in the first place? Is it fear of letting yourself down that keeps you from starting?

It is important to acknowledge your fears. They aren't stupid. They are worth noting, because then you can deal with them. In any case you have to come up with a reason compelling enough for you to overcome your fears and keep going. Realizing that I was afraid to let myself down was an amazing breakthrough for me. I've found myself far gentler with myself this time around, and much more willing to take it slow. In the past I might have given up after a single day of not being "perfect" on my diet. Now I know that tomorrow is another day. I didn't get overweight and out of shape in a single day. A single day isn't going to make a drastic difference in changing my body.

The same is true of business and personal goals. You aren't going to be successful every single day. There will be days that you make great gains, and days that nothing happens. All that matters is that you start down a road. It may take you a week, it may take the rest of your life, but it is the journey - not just the destination - that will change your life.

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