carpe diem

When I was about eight years old, I went on a car trip with my grandmother and great-grandmother off to visit my cousins who lived in various places around the west during our childhood. This year, we went to Arizona, and at one point in the road my grandmother pointed at a spot ahead in the distance and said she was going to show me something when we got there.

As with much of the desert, the road was smooth and flat - and the time it took to drive to the place on the horizon seemed interminable. This was compounded by the fact that it was summer, in the desert, and my grandmother drove an old Dodge Dart with an air-conditioner that produced about as much air as an asthmatic old man. Finally, after what seemed like hours, we reached the spot she had told me about. We pulled over to the side of the road and got out of the car. She turned facing the direction that we had come and I was stunned to see that what had looked like a flat road was actually quite a large hill. We had been slowly climbing but the landscape and the distance had made it impossible to see the incline until you were able to look back on it.

I have often thought about that moment. Standing there with my grandmother, and her mother, looking over the hot flat desert, I learned something very valuable about life. Sometimes you have to look at something from a different angle to see it clearly.

As a teenager, it seemed like life was either wonderful or horrible, but nothing in between. I viewed my life like a series of hills and valleys, and I rarely appreciated being on the summit until I began the descent. Now I know that sometimes the best moments of your life happen during the worst of circumstances. Some of the greatest opportunities come during the times we are most challenged just to survive.

Carpe Diem, in case you aren't familiar with the phrase, is Latin for "Seize the Day" or "Enjoy Today" - depending on the translation. This comes from a writing by Horace (Ode I-IX) "Ask not - we cannot know - what end the gods have set for you, for me; nor attempt the Babylonian reckonings Leuconoë. How much better to endure whatever comes, whether Jupiter grants us additional winters or whether this is our last, which now wears out the Tuscan Sea upon the barrier of the cliffs! Be wise, strain the wine; and since life is brief, cut back far-reaching hopes! Even while we speak, envious time has passed: Enjoy today, putting as little trust as possible in tomorrow!"

Recently, readers of Tera's Wish have begun to send me sent me quotes that they love. It was a funny thing. One day I got a message with one, and within a week, I'd had about twenty. I have kept several of my favorites on my desk, and I'd like to share them with you:

"There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day." - Alexander Woollcott

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." - Harold Whitman

"You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth." - Shira Tehrani

It is unfortunate that it often takes something tragic or difficult to happen for us to wake up to the importance of seizing the day. This year, I have had two such wake up calls - the first was the death of my best friend, and more recently a serious illness in my family.

Several years ago, I was walking down the Herengracht canal in Amsterdam. A car slid into a rare parking spot along the canal, and one of the most beautiful men I have ever seen got out of the car. He was wearing a red sports jacket and I remember thinking that no American man would be caught dead in that, and yet he looked wonderful. Instead of saying what I was thinking, I just smiled, and he smiled back. I didn't speak, I didn't say hello (although it would have been so easy to do). I just kept walking. A short way down the street, I turned and realized that the beautiful man was standing on the stoop of the canal house where I passed him still watching me. I blushed, having been caught looking back, and he smiled again and turned to walk into the building. Every day for the rest of my trip, I walked past that canal house hoping to see the man in the red jacket again. I never did.

Whenever I am afraid to take a chance, I remind myself of the pain of regret I felt at not having the courage to say hello to that man because the moment that he turned away I knew that I'd missed out on something special. Every day opportunities arise and we must decide whether to take the chance or play it safe. I leave you with one final quote, from someone far wiser than myself:

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain

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